There is this song by Bjork called “Hyperballad.” The lyrics are about her going to a cliff each morning and throwing household objects over the edge to see what will happen when they hit the rocks below; what kind of sounds they will make, what the crash will look like, etc. And then she even imagines throwing herself over the cliff, not in a suicidal way, just in a morbidly curious way. Then she scurries back to bed to the safety of her love and feels so relieved and grateful because the horror she just imagined was only in her head. I guess that’s how I interpret it, anyway. And I mention it here because I do this multiple times a day. Only my neurotic thoughts seem to be hard-wired in my head and I do it more because I am a worry wart, not predisposed to morbid fascination.
I imagine scenarios where anything that could go wrong does, but always hoping for a better outcome. And then when things end up being fine (and they usually do) I am so thankful and relieved that I have the life I have. I realize this is probably a really unhealthy way to spend my time thinking about my days, but hey, look at the title of my blog. That’s kind of my thing.
As a stay-at-home mom of three kids, there are opportunities aplenty for these irrational, dramatic fears though usually they are trumped by moments of not only great success, but really tender, loving occurances that I feel compelled to share with others. Example: Wow, letting my three and four year old boys make their own lunch really didn’t lead to my kitchen exploding or anyone getting electrocuted! And we all sat down at the kitchen table and enjoyed messy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while talking about boogers and Legos.
I also feel I should share my experiences with people for several reasons. First of all, sometimes they are hilarious and who doesn’t like to laugh? And second, I find in this age of pinterest and facebook, we can all “appear” to be doing everything flawlessly like taking the perfect family vacation where our children play nicely together, no one gets carsick and no one ever fights. We all do crafty activities in an immaculate kitchen and have perfectly decorated homes with clever handmade artwork on the walls. And while that may be some families’ real lives, I know that it’s far from the truth for mine. My kids fight. I even yell at them sometimes. I am sure there is probably dried urine under the seat of my toilet. I haven’t dusted my house in about three weeks. And my newborn lies on her play-mat more than either of her brothers ever did and even though I am sure she will have flat head syndrome or feel neglected for years to come because of it, I am hoping that somehow no one will die of infectious disease or need years of intense psycho therapy because of my short-comings as a mother. I can honestly say that although we are far from “pinterest-perfect,” I think we are making it. We have a good family. I am a good mom (I hope). And you are a good parent too! We all are doing the best we can.
Other details that will probably come in useful when reading my musings are just the facts. Our little family of five lives in southeastern Michigan. My husband Scott is a financial advisor. We have been married since 2006. We have three wonderful children: Noah born October, 2008; Luke born May, 2010; and Grace born in May, 2013. As I mentioned before, I am a stay-at-home mother. I enjoy writing, then trashing it when I realize how inadequate and uninteresting it probably is. I also am a recreational runner and recently started pilates. I am a vegetarian, my husband eats a plant-strong diet at home but anything he wants outside of here. My kids eat fruit and anything out of a package. I have no idea what the classification of that diet would be… but you’d better believe you will see more than one blog entry about my evenings as a frustrated, discouraged, short-order cook who knows her kids are horribly malnourished!
So that’s me! I hope you will visit often and judge little and not the other way around.